Thread: Got this today, such a laugh.

Just had to share this, love the bit about the wicked stepmother also note the typo's and then the comment i've highlighted.

Other bits that amuse me are underlined.

Hello' My Dearest,

I am more than happy in your reply to my mail. How was your day?, Mine is a little bit hot over here in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso and I have just received your email with lot's of excitement when i sent the letter to you my heart has been over occupied with thoughts and fear if my situation will touch your heart to come for my rescue i am glad now that i saw your email.The most important reason why i choose to contact you is for you to stand as my trsutee and provide account where the bank will transfer the money.
About the Rev.Fr.Benjamin/Camp Authority
Firstly i am emailing you from the office of the Reverend Benjamin in EVANGELICAL LURTHRAN CHURCH OF GOD, I told the Reverend Benjamin about my communication with you and he permitted me to access my email in his office computer twice a day, Pls you can call me with the office number of the rev father +226 75 27 97 95 here in the Mission camp and ask of Miss Dina Kipkalya that stays in the female hostel room 12, block C when you will call me. As a refugee here i don't have any right or privilege to any thing be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country.I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place. where i am leaving now, In this camp we are only allowed to go out only on Mondays and Fridays of the weeks. Its just like one staying in the prison and i hope by God's grace i will come out here soon.
About Myself/ Late Father/Mother
My name is Miss Dina Kipkalya and a single daughter of my mother, 23 years of age, from Nairobi Kenya in East Africa, i am 5.6ft tall, (never married before ) and presently i am residing in the refugee camp here in Burkina Faso as a result of the plane crach and my wicked step mother who wants to kill me and sit on my inheritance, But God did not allow her to achieve her plans, My father was the former Kenyan Road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Laboso had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya. The plane crashed on Tuesday 10th, June,2008. My mother died during a child birth in 1992, I have been alone with my father and my evil step mother, with the help of United Nation I managed to make my way to a near by country Burkina Faso where my father deposited these money with my name as the next of kin. It was only me that is alive now in my family i don't have any relatives now whom i can go to, my step Mother wants me dead and the only person i have now is Reverend Benjamin who is the pastor of the ( EVANGELICAL LURTHRAN CHURCH OF GOD) here in the camp he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i am leaving in the women's hostel because the camp have two hostels one for men the other for women.
About My Wicked StepMother/Uncle
I am constrained because of the abuse/threaten I am receiving from my wicked stepmother and uncle. they took away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father. Meanwhile i wanted to escape to the USA but they hides away my international passport and other valuable travelling documents. Luckly they did not discover where i kept my fathers File which contains important documents. So I decided to run to the refugee camp where i am presently seeking asylum under the United Nations High Commission for the Refugee here in Ouagadougou , Republic of Burkina Faso.
My feelings:
Despites the money I really want someone who will care and love me, I need someone who will always tell me the truth from his heart, I need someone who will be my brother, my best friend, even though you take me like your blood sister or part of your family I will not mind but as long we got along together with real love I will definitely be satisfied. I want you to think very well and understand in your heart if you really want to help me, If yes’ I will live the rest of my live to appreciate it, But if no I suggest you make it open to me before you will break my heart, Because I don't want to under go torture any more. I need a God fearing person that will not cheat on me when the money has been transferred to him/her, i keep on praying to God that he should give me a person that is honest and faithful so that he will be nice and faithful to me when the money is transferred to him/her. i need a person that will faithful so that when the money is transferred he will send some money to me so that i will start preparing to meet with you, i have no money with me here in the camp, and i do not have any choice rather than to pray to God for a person that will love me like himself/herslf so that that love will stand for us.
After the transaction
After transfer of this money to your account : You will help me withdraw some money from the account where the money was transferred, and from it you can send some money for me to get my travelling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you in order to further my studies .You will send a letter of invitation to me so that they will give me a VISA urgently to travel and join you over, to enable me continue my education. It is my intention to compensate you with 30% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment, please understand my condition and do not abandon me without help. Therefore my condition here is very bad, to eat is very hard for me but with God all things will be good just a day.

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR EXPERINCE IN BUSINESS SINCE YOU WILL BE THE ONE TO INVEST THE MONEY. WE NEED TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER FOR MORE TRUST AND UNDERSTAND BETWEEN BOTH OF US. SECONDLY, I WILL APPRECIATE IT BETTER ONCE I RECIEVE THE BELOW INFORMATION OF YOURS . 1.Your Full Name.....................?, 2. Your Address ...................... ?, 3. Your Country of Origin.............?, 4. What do you do for living....................?, 5. Your Age...........................?, 6. Sex.........................?, 7. Your personal picture .................

So in the light of above i will like you to keep it to yourself and don't tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it.
Remember i am giving you all this information due to the trust i deposed on you.I like honest and understanding people,truthful and someone of vision,truth and hardworking. My favourite language is English and i speak English very fluently. Please i will like you to answer me these questions:
1.Can you hand this transfer?
2. Can i trust you as a genuine friend ?
Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said, i have alot to tell you..
Have a nice day and think about me. Attach here is my pictures for you
Awaiting to hear from you soonest
Yours in love,
Dina Kipkalya



WOW What a cracker, if only all of this was true, however its good for a laugh and i'll continue with this for a while, anyway must go i before my evil stepmother and uncle catch me.

Please note i have now moved to a small village outside Lincolnshire called Mombassa Tinkywinky Nerdistarn where i am locked in a concrete bunker 15ft underground for 25 hours a day, i praise God for wireless usb devices that allow me to share my pain with you.

Sending you all my love brothers and sisters.

Gingie